why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You were trust falling into bushes
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
