You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
