Duck Duck Cougar?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
