i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
