youre lurking in front of me
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
this hospital has no fireball
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
