Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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