You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
