Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
