i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
