hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
