garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
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