Non-Jews are for practice
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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