it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
