Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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