You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
