I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
