careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
