it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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