You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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