No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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