I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize