apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
