They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
we're so committed to being not committed
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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