how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
