last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
