I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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