Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
