tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
