White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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