I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize