I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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