her vagine was all disorganized.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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