I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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