I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
