i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
