you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We're too hungover to prance.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
