He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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