yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
