You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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