wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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