just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
