We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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