Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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