Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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