Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
