My room smells like vodka and shame
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
