i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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