He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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