Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
