yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize