you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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