is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
