I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
