I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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