just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
