I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
