You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he thought i was a dude.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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