JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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