YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
That accounts for only three of the penises
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Randomize
