do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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