When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Hippo gnu deer
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
