it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
